things I think about when I have time to think

-----   smiling at the sound of the babies' crying in the maternity ward next door, remembering all the extra-special-newness of each of our bubs. -----   licking the spoon which I've just used to polish off my yummy-for-hospital creme caramel. -----   clouded by the diagnosis I, moments ago, delivered. Widely-spread cancer, maybe only a few days left to live.  And living those days in Intensive Care, tubes and pipes and machines all around. 60 years old and thought to be perfectly healthy until just last week. ----- willing time to pass quickly so I can be home with my family. 4 hrs 45 minutes and counting.   --

"It's given me more room, more space in my head... and yet nothing has been lost, but recorded and pondered upon and mused over... by me in writing them down and hopefully others in finding them interesting to read :\ ." How I did it: I just did it!    Created a profile in www.blogspot.com , sat down and wrote. Stream of thought.   Not writing as though someone were going to critique me, but just writing as I think, unpolished, as I would chat to a girlfriend over coffee. And whenever something new popped into my head, I created a new post - they're all kept on your dashboard and you can edit and publish them when you're ready. I was amazed how much I actually had to say!   I have so many unfinished posts which I can revisit later, to add to or publish. Lessons & tips: Just do it.   Start today. Don't think too much. You can change the details later.  And you'll find that it's a journey anyway, you'll change your mind as you write and it wi

.... savouring the indulgence of no-name-brand mint chocolate .... contemplating "going paperless" as I deliberate the piles on my desk .... thinking of novel ways to make more space in my life to think .... reflecting on the leaps I make when I have that space to think .... embracing the concept of a "collective identity" for our family .... guiltily pushing aside the shadow of laundry .... enjoying just sitting .... relieved that Allen has finally responded! And laughing, really laughing!

And I have to turn up the outside volume to drown out my internal feed. It's not that I don't like thinking, it's just that I need to sleep . And thinking, for me, does not lead to sleeping. I'm a chronic insomniac. Too many years of night-time doctoring and a day time filled with too much "doing" . At night, when my husband and 5 kiddies are in bed fast asleep, and the little yellow house is finally quiet, there is enough pause for my thinking to start...   ... Like a nagging wife yabbering in my ear. The Bible says that it is better to live on the corner of a roof top than to live with a nagging wife. Solomon has a point. So sometimes I have to drown out the feed.   I listen to podcasts at night. And to compensate,  I try to make more space to think in the day. ..... So maybe one day, the nagging wife and I can learn to like each other.

Today is day 2 of my blogging journey. It is a frenzy. But not just for me. It looks like my kids are going to come along for the ride. We've just finished "couch time" and blogging was the hot topic of the evening. Of course, they hadn't yet read my blog. So we made a deal. MooShoo, who is most fluent at reading, could read Mum's blog aloud to the others after prayers, provided all other jobs were done. They're reading it right now. And they actually think I'm funny! which I have to say, I kind of like. Who knew? Mums can be funny. On social media too - which is a bonus, especially when you're 11, 8, 7, 4 and 2 years old. So who inspired me today? Teacher Lisa. EdieBee, who is 4, has the most awesome kinder teacher. I was hanging on to the edge of the couch this morning, trying to keep from being pushed off by Jojo and his band of 3 merry dogs - all on one leash - slurping up my mocha too fast before it got bumped out of my hands. My 4 year old and

We were having "couch time" just before prayers, reflecting on the day. All 5 of the kids were layered over us in different postures, some wriggling, some still, lots of giggles and random thoughts. I love these moments, always want to frame them in my mind. Or at least pause to give them a spot to settle so I will remember. it's this that I love most about being a mum, the everyday moments , the bits and pieces that fall into place when we take the time to just hang out. it's these things that i want to write about. today was double-pudding day . the first one I made at 330am, in a moment of insane insomnia, the second was made by my 11yo Miss MooShoo to celebrate - or mourn - the last day of the school holidays. She's our first-born, our precious bit of drama. "Mum, why does school have to just come along and ruin everything!" In sympathy, the day needed to be marked. We're big on creating traditions in our family. So the last day