Late-nights-up-studying next to Mum, our JoJo flatly refusing to go to sleep without me,
starting the night out with exceptional resolve...
"Mum, I'm going to be with you all-a-night, ...JoJo's going to help you all-a-time, Mum", ..... so earnestly said with his big blue eyes.
And I melt just-a-little, nod gracefully, and try to turn back to the solemn task of haematology, or liver cancer, or something equally non-gripping when compared with a 4 yo's endearing smile,
.....but all that I really want to do is toss the books aside, and cuddle and tickle my JoJo til he laughs all the way down to his squidgy toes!
And as he quietly draws pictures beside me, his eyes grow tired and his body falls gently into sleep alongside me..
It is then, in the quietness of night, when I am weighed down by thinking too-many-thoughts, and carrying too-many-burdens,
that just pausing to watch our peacefully-sleeping-child
grounds me again,
...bringing renewed reflection of
how truly grateful I am for all I have been given.
....the longing is so great to nestle down next to this perfect little angel-body, ....to stroke the tousled hair,
....to lie nose-to-nose, watching each breath.
And then just to gaze patiently, willing and waiting for him to
eventually wake up.... to find me there with him,
.... to start another day simply loving him
and just being grateful for the magnitude of what I have been given.
.... to start another day simply loving him
and just being grateful for the magnitude of what I have been given.
"...What have you that was not given to you?..." 1 Cor 4:7
In my sometimes-dark weariness,
it is the life in my children that holds me up.
It is these blessings I re-focus on.
It is their faces I see before me when I close my eyes,
their words that encourage me,
their need for nurture and for love that keeps me going.
their words that encourage me,
their need for nurture and for love that keeps me going.
I know there every trial is just for a season, and there is an end...
And through it all God is always here. His promises and His word never change.
"I WILL lift up my eyes to the hills –From whence shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip or to be moved; He Who keeps you will not slumber." Ps. 121:1-3
He has called me to heal and so I give of myself to others.
He gave us His vision for our 5 children and so they have been born against the cultural-grain of these days.
He gave us His vision for our 5 children and so they have been born against the cultural-grain of these days.
He has called Joseph by name, meaning "God will add",
...and so I trust these children-He-has-added to Him,
believing He holds them in the palm of His hand.
And through all of our trials, He promises never to give us more than we can bear,
and so I lean into this in my tiredness, knowing that we will be
equipped and capable.
...and so I trust these children-He-has-added to Him,
believing He holds them in the palm of His hand.
and so I lean into this in my tiredness, knowing that we will be
equipped and capable.
Every day is a prayer.
... to remain trusting in Him and waiting patiently for Him... I thank him that I am living each day of this life within this God-given family-of-7, that we survive our trials through focusing on Him, and that we are covered by His forever-grace.
"But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired." Isaiah 40:31.
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Amen xxx
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